strength training.

I just read what I wrote in this post and feel I must apologize in advance. Feel free to stop reading right now.

In preparation for inauguration day, I am working on strengthening my bladder. That's right, I wrote it. I keep reading and hearing things like, "there will be 1 porta-potty for every 6,000 people." Of course, I don't have a link for this because it was in an article when "they" were still expecting the entire world to show up on the mall on January 20. However, even if half the world shows up, or a quarter of the world, or half of the number they originally expected, there still aren't going to be enough places to pee. I worry about these things. A lot. And the more I worry, the more I have to pee. So I decided to be proactive and am in bladder training. I am drinking lots of water so by the time January 20 rolls around, my bladder will be strong and will not let me down. I have no idea if this really works. This morning I tried to convince Jesse that it is true. That after I start drinking water on a regular basis, I don't have to pee as often. The truth is, it doesn't matter if it really works. My brain will know that I am used to drinking at least 32 ounces of water a day. And when I don't drink that on January 20, my brain will know I won't have to pee.

I'm also thinking of buying some adult diapers and practicing using them. Just kidding. Kind of. When Joel and I lived together we had this great plan. We were going to get a minikeg, preferably the Molson Canadian one with the Red Wings, set it between our recliners, and drink beer all night while watching tv. How would this be different than any other night? We were going to wear diapers so we never had to get up to pee. Unfortunately, we never had the chance to carry out this plan. We never had the chance to put a target up on the back door and shoot bottle rockets at it from down the hall. We did, however, get to refuse to let Seth in the door and then throw rotten fruit out the window at him when he came to visit. Those were the days...