thanks, mom.

Yesterday morning I rolled out of bed and waddled downstairs to find my parents making me breakfast. I announced I would be calling in fat and working from home. My mom agreed that was a good idea and explained, "you are enormous." And then she lovingly placed bacon on my plate.

39 weeks.

I am still pregnant. I am very ready to not be pregnant anymore. Last week I had some pretty strong contractions and I freaked out because I got scared and all the other feelings that come with giving birth for the first time and parenting for the first time and single parenting for the first time. Last night I woke up with some sharp pains and was so excited because well, bring it. But no, I'm still pregnant.

Last week was pretty long because I had a nasty cold. I missed a lot of work and spent much of the week laying around feeling sorry for myself and blowing my nose and trying to sleep but not having much success. It has actually been fun having my parents here, they take really good care of me and they make me laugh. And they cook and clean and do laundry and buy me shit.

Hopefully the next time I write something here it will be about how I'm exhausted because I have a son. Or about how drunk I am because I enjoyed 12 vodka tonics. Yup. I'm ready!!

pootie tang.

I love this movie. Seriously. I think I might need to convince Jesse to name our son Pootie Tang. Now I just gotta find the belt. I suppose it doesn't come in newborn and/or 0-3 month size...

Today I get two new roommates! A couple weeks ago I would not have been so excited about the roomies but today, I cannot wait for them to get here. I should be cleaning up and getting ready for them but I did the dishes and got contractions so I'm sitting here watching Pootie Tang and resting. Sa da tay... My mom said they are coming to help me clean and cook so I shouldn't clean and cook before they get here. I guess I have to listen to mom!

I had a long week at work even though I ended up staying home on Thursday. Sleeping is getting more and more difficult as Pootie Tang is constantly headbutting and/or punching my bladder. Now I think I'm getting a cold so that's fun. Actually, I think I've been pretty lucky this whole pregnancy as far as avoiding colds and other illness, besides morning sickness. It just sucks that I'm almost done being pregnant and am huge and tired and uncomfortable and now I get sick?! I suppose it was unavoidable considering the amount of stress I've been under and the change in the weather and all the people I come in contact with at work and at baby showers and stuff.

Time to get back to Pootie Tang, big glass of orange juice, chicken noodle soup, and another big glass of water.

37 weeks.

I had my weekly dr. appointment yesterday. Everything still looks good. I gained a couple pounds and my blood pressure is still very normal. It took forever to get Optimus Prime's heartbeat rate because he had the hiccups and they kept messing with the monitor. Finally got the reading and it was 139 which is lower than it usually is but still in the normal range. The dr. said Optimus Prime hasn't dropped yet so he didn't check to see if I'm dilated. Guess that fun will start at next week's appointment.

Today was a long day of meetings at work. Optimus Prime was super busy all day which made me super uncomfortable. I hope he was busy dropping and getting ready to move out of my uterus. My belly is stretched to the limit, my back hurts, I can't sleep for more than a couple hours at a time, I can't get comfortable in any position, I pee twenty million times a day, blah blah blah. I don't care how not ready I am to be a mom. Today I am more ready to not be pregnant anymore.

Don and Bev are moving in on Saturday to help me with stuff around the house and so I won't be alone when I go into labor. At first I wasn't sure I wanted them to come stay with me because let's face it, I like my space. But now I'm ready for them to be here. Every day I am more exhausted after work and right now it is 8:30 p.m. and instead of doing the dishes or other shit around the house, I'm ready for bed. I'm so grateful they'll be here to help me pack and cook and clean and get last minute stuff ready. And it's my house so that means I have control over the remote control, right?

i'm clean.

No. More. Showers. Whew!!

Optimus Prime is due in 3 weeks. Some days I am ready to serve him an eviction notice. Then the Braxton Hicks contractions start getting stronger and stronger and I freak out and beg him to stay in there for at least 2 more weeks.

I had a diaper shower at work on Friday. It was awesome and my co-workers/friends are amazing and generous and so much fun. I don't think I'll need to buy diapers for a very long time!

Yesterday was my family shower and there were lots of people and lots of good food and lots of fun and lots of laughs and lots of gifts and just a really long day. This morning my niece and I put stuff together, like the stroller/car seat, the baby swing, and the mobile for the crib. It was really fun and she is so excited to meet her cousin, even though he is a boy. At one point he was kicking my rib and I could feel his foot. She came over and we grabbed his foot and she could feel him squirming around. I thought she might be creeped out by it but she kept her hand there and said it was really cool.

This has been the most difficult time of my life. It breaks my heart that instead of being excited and putting away baby stuff and happy anticipation, I am angry and sad. Instead of bringing my baby home, I'm moving out of my home. Instead of sharing this time with my husband, I'm sharing it with my parents and my sisters/brothers and other family members. Instead of planning family outings, we're planning our divorce. I didn't have a choice in any of this, it was all dropped in my lap. Wait, I did have one choice. I decided from the get-go that I will always do the best I can for my son. It's not about me anymore. It's not about my husband anymore. It's not about my relationship with my husband. It's about this little baby in my uterus that is headbutting my bladder as I write this. Someday I'm gonna get to tell him about this crazy time and all the baby showers and all the people that love me and love him and it's not gonna seem so bad. I can make that choice, too.

almost 36 weeks.

It seems like everything is such hard work lately, especially this blogging thing. And this growing a fetus thing. The good news is that I appear to be much better at growing a fetus than I am at blogging on a regular basis. Optimus Prime is growing every day which means I am growing every day. I still don't understand why my thighs and ass have to be growing so much. It's just so wrong. In the past couple weeks several people at work, mostly dudes, have asked me when the baby is due and said they thought I was pregnant but didn't want to say anything until they were sure. Apparently they are now sure. Translation: I. Am. Huge.

Anyway, Optimus Prime...the dr. said he is amazed at how well I am doing considering the amount of stress I have been under. Optimus Prime's head is down and he enjoys stretching his legs so his feet either stick out my right side or kick the shit out of my ribs. His favorite song appears to be Gay Bar by the Electric Six. Seriously, everytime I play that song he goes apeshit and when the song is over, he stops. It cracks me up and I'm so grateful he already has good taste in music.

Speaking of music, I'm currently working on a "release the kraken" playlist for when I'm in labor. If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment or email me.

It was a busy week at work and I've had a kick ass weekend. Today I got to see two of my favorite people and it was awesome. I haven't seen them in a couple months and I didn't think I would get to see them until Thanksgiving. It was great to talk and laugh and they even said nice things about how good I look. Yes, I know I'm obsessed with how big I'm getting and the weight gain. What can I say? I feel gross and unattractive and it's no wonder my husband left me for greener pastures. So yeah...I have issues...cut me some slack.

I think that's all I have to report for now. I'm actually glad the Tigers didn't make it to the post-season because getting to games would be really difficult. Okay that's a lie. I'm not glad at all. Wouldn't it have been crazy if they made it to post season the year we got married AND the year our marriage ended? Wait! There's still hope. The divorce won't be final until next year.

Go Tigs!