the end.

After many many months of complaining that Henry doesn't really talk that much, I can stop.  He, however, cannot stop.  Talk talk talk.  That is all he does.  Oh wait, he talks and then laughs.  Sometimes he for real laughs and sometimes he totally mocks my laugh which makes me laugh and then he mocks me some more.  It's been a blast but also really scary because I have a little bit of a potty mouth and oooooh boy.  I'm gonna be in trouble if I don't knock it off.  Who am I kidding.  I'm already in trouble.

Is it wrong that I'm terribly disappointed that when he says, "truck," it actually sounds like, "truck?"

This afternoon my friend was reading him one of his favorite books and at the end Henry slammed the book shut and yelled, "THE END!"  He's been quietly saying, "the end" at the end of stories for a few days now but oh my GOD this new story ending is hilarious and joyful and wonderful and the best part is he wants to hear the same story over and over again so there was lots of screaming THE END today and oooooh even though this parenting thing is crazy difficult and stressful, it is the most hilarious and heartwarming and fun thing I have ever and will ever do. 

THE END!

My plans for the weekend have changed once again.  Instead of spending time with a good friend and his family, I am home trying to not cry from my back pain.  There was no way I could drive for 2.5 hours and not die.  Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic but I am in a lot of pain tonight.  Ugh.  Henry is with his dad, which is good and bad.  Good because my back will get some rest and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow and can start exercising so this doesn't happen anymore.  Bad because this isn't his dad's weekend and I miss him terribly.  Henry doesn't get to see his dad very much so I feel like if his dad is in town for the weekend and has time for him, I have to let him go.  Ah the joys of parenting.  It's not about me, it's about the boy.  I have never been so happy to have it not be about me.  Except I miss him.  A lot. 

This week has been tough on me.  A classmate from high school was killed in a motorcycle accident.  The daughter of another classmate from high school passed away later that same day.  I know I should be grateful for everything I have and for the most part, I am.  There are some days, however, like today, when I can't stop thinking about the disappointment and hurt and pain.  I am sad about the bullshit I have been through.  I am sad for my friends. 

I keep thinking about the first thing I told Henry right after he was born.  Henry and I were left alone in the operating room for a few moments after he was born and it was just the two of us.  I know he doesn't remember my words but I remember them and I live them and someday I will remind him and he will understand and we'll both be okay.

I know.  Rambling tonight.  Let's blame it on the pain. 

Here's a family photo from this afternoon.  I could hardly sit or stand today because of the pain shooting down my back and leg, but damn we had an amazing day. 

rewind.

I'd like to pretend today didn't happen.  It started out bad.  Got a little better.  Then got worse.  Then got worse.  Then got worse. 

Henry isn't two yet but he is all two.  He is bigger than an average two-year-old yet wants to be carried around like a not-yet-two-year-old.  My back aches so bad by the end of the day I can hardly stay vertical.  He throws tantrums like a kid stuck at two for the past twenty years.  He's that good.  He also rebounds from these tantrums like nothing ever happened.

So much like Henry pretends the kicking screaming kicking screaming kicking screaming never happened, I'm going to pretend today didn't happen. 

Except for when Henry hugged me and kissed my nose and patted my head and said "love mom-mom."  I would like to do that again, please. 

connisseur.

I.  Love.  Bendy.  Straws.

This morning Henry and I went out for breakfast and ended up at Bob Evans (the lack of suitable breakfast places on this end of town is astounding).  Henry got some milk and it came with the most amazing bendy straw I have ever seen.  The bendy part was at least twice as long as usual and I fell in love.  Proof that I love this kid more than anything:  I didn't steal it from him. 

I just did some bendy straw googling because I need these straws and it appears I am not the only person fond of these Bob Evans bendy straws.  Someone shared their personal story and it had something to do with asking some Bob Evans manager where they got their fantastic straws and the kind manager gave her a box of them for free so I guess I could try to get some that way but that sounds like a lot of work.  Also, what are the chances there will be another nice manager like that?  And what if they give me a box and then get fired?  The economy.  It's all my fault.  My need for kick ass bendy straws.  Anyway, I found some on Amazon but I'm not sure if they are the same thing and really, do I need to spend $20 on 960 bendy straws?

I'm going to do the responsible thing and try to go to sleep before placing my order in the morning.

Seriously.  They are awesome.  I should have taken pictures.  I should have taken the thing with me and raised it as my own. 

i was wrong.

Henry didn't get much sleep this weekend and last night he slept for FIFTEEN HOURS.  15.  Ten + Five.  6:30 p.m. to 9:30 a.m.  He probably would have slept longer but after 15 hours I was worried he was dead so I went in and he stirred and I snuck back out but then a few minutes later he woke up for good.  I am pretty sure this is the second time since he's been with me that I've gotten up and eaten breakfast before him.  Crazy.  I'm pretty sure the first time was when I was sick and couldn't sleep anyway. 

But it gets better.

He napped this afternoon.  For just over TWO HOURS.  Which is just over an hour longer than usual. 

But it gets even better.

He went to bed at his normal bedtime and went to sleep.  

We're going to stay out late every other night from now on. 

life.

I have no life.  Social life, that is.  This is my choice.  My kid has always needed to go to bed early and I choose to be home in time for him to get a good night of sleep.  There are times that we are out of town and come home late but for the most part, I plan on being home in time for him to go to bed when he's tired.  He now sucks at sleeping in the car so we used to be able to plan on car time as sleep time but that hasn't worked in a while.  My friends often try to get me out for the evening and ask, "Can't your parents watch Henry?" My answer is usually the same, of course they can watch him.  Of course they would watch him if I asked them to.  Here's the thing.  I chose to have Henry in my life.  I chose to get pregnant.  I chose to parent him.  I did not choose to have him so I could go on living the life I had before he was born.  I know that having to be home by 6 every night is pathetic and lame.  But I also know that it is what is best for my son.  It is what makes him happy and healthy and such an easy going kid.  He knows what to expect.  The structure and security I have provided for him have been good decisions on my part.  Someday I will have a social life again.  I look forward to it but at the same time, I have no regrets.  Henry is amazing and I know that I will always do what is best for him.  It's not about being a martyr.  It's about loving my life with Henry in it.  The other bullshit I have to deal with is nothing compared to getting to have a happy and healthy son in my life.  With him, the sky's the limit.  

sexting.

I don't believe in sexting because you never know when you might be having an affair and then you lie about it on the stand and then poof!  The whole world can read your text messages.  The whole world includes your spouse you are cheating on. 

Can you tell I worked for City Council when there was Kwame Kilpatrick drama?

I also don't believe in sexting because I suck at text messaging.  Ever since the iphone came into my life, I SUCK at getting the text message to the correct recipient.  I'm sure it isn't all the iphone's fault and has more to do with the fact that I am always having to have one eye on Henry while I'm texting and washing the dishes and sweeping the floor and whatever else is happening.  My iphone came along when Henry was a few months old. 

Anyway.

Today I accidentally sexted someone.  Henry played in my car for a long time this morning, longer than usual because I didn't get any sleep last night and didn't have the energy to find a more productive way to spend our time.  When he plays in the car he likes to have everything on at the same time.  Lights, radio, hazards, blinkers, etc...  After a while I realized I should probably try to start the car.  Nothing but  click click.  I decided to let him play for a while longer even though we were supposed to meet up with a friend and there wasn't another car around.  I figured I'd text message my friend and he could come over to rescue us.  I texted him about my car battery being dead and I figured he'd write back and offer to help.  I waited and waited and the battery was getting deader and deader and I didn't hear back so I sent another message that read, "so can you come over and jump me?" not even thinking about it sounding dirty because by that time I was making Henry's lunch while doing laundry and I was getting worried that my friend was waiting for us and would be pissed that we weren't there. 

Oh the confused texts after that were maddening and hysterical and there was lots of, "I thought we decided we'd just be friends?" and "huh??" and "what are you talking about?" and then I got a text message from Henry's dad about alternators and auto parts stores and ooooooooh.  Shit.  I accidentally sent the original dead battery text to Henry's dad.

I decided I need an intern to proof read my text messages.  Scratch that... I need an intern to just send my text messages for me.  If they accidentally sext someone on my behalf, they will not pass the class.

Did I mention I didn't get any sleep last night?

and another thing...

I swore I wouldn't watch Dr. Who before bed anymore because oh my GOD the dreams!  If I'm lucky enough to actually fall asleep, my messed up time traveling, alien beings dreams wake me up several times.  Unfortunately, I can't stop watching.

Also, my phone charger died and I'm too poor/lazy to go buy another one so I have to charge my phone in the car.  Henry loves it because he thinks it's an invitation to play in the car.  He now knows how to properly load and eject CDs.  And he can't get enough of Milk and Sugar by the Hard Lessons.



The CD version is much more balls out rock and roll.  And the bass.  Henry loves the bass. 

badass.