i'm almost asleep.

But I found another photo of Henry and the tree shadows that I love.  Henry is a very thoughtful kid and even though he laughs easily, he is often concentrating on something.  Lots of people think he's a really serious kid and I think in some ways he is.  I worry that the last few months he was in my uterus all I did was cry and not eat and not sleep and that somehow made him more serious than a little kid should be.  Then again, in a lot of other ways he's just like his mom-mom and is constantly finding things to laugh about.  Like this afternoon when he pushed me off the couch then laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch himself.  I'll never know if the shitty environment I provided for him during the last trimester of my pregnancy affected him negatively but what I do know is that I will always love this kid and I will always try to do what I think is best for him so he is happy and healthy and finds his way in this crazy fucked up world.  Anyway, in this photo he appears to be deep in thought about something.  My guess is he was trying to figure out how to get out of taking a nap.  Smart boy.

it's friday, bitches.

What does that mean for you?  Hitting the bar?  Working late?  Going to dinner and a movie? 

What does that mean for me?

I'm going to bed at 8 and sleeping until Henry wakes up hopefully twelve hours after that.  People.  I'm finally sleeping and I can't stop sleeping.  Not enough hours in the day to get sleep.  All I do is sleep.  Henry figured his out and has decided he doesn't need to nap anymore.  I tried to tell him that his daddy thinks he still needs to nap but apparently he doesn't care because he doesn't nap more than he naps.  I'm sure it's something I'm doing wrong.  Maybe it's because I need to sleep all.  the.  time.  I can't do anything right!

Here's a photo of my oh-so-cute son from October 2011.  Oh that face!

happy october.

It's been crazy warm the past few days so we've been spending as much time as possible outside.  I hate the short days but I love the southern sun and the shadows across the lawn.

Yesterday Henry helped his Gpa cut the grass.

And today he helped wash the car.

It's the last hurrah and it's going to be cold again tomorrow.  We have lots of plans for the next week.  Most importantly, we'll be practicing trick-or-treating.  Henry has his costume and he's taking his own sweet time getting used to it.  Hopefully he'll be ready by Monday, which I know, is not Halloween, but there is an event we're going to that will involve costumes.  For him.  Not me.  Why are all adult women costumes slutty something?  Slutty everything? 

I'll be sure to post photos after Halloween. 

p.s.  he can say "Gesundheit!"  kind of.  a little bit. 

detroit tigers. roar.

The Tigers won some big game tonight.  I missed most of it because Henry wanted to play outside.  Just because missing the game wasn't painful enough, he insisted on playing with his MSU basketball that a very kind neighbor gave him this week.  I was hoping to put the basketball on a very high shelf because the basketball has autographs but the neighbor insisted Henry play with the ball.  Henry loves it.  I love this photo because it kind of makes me think Henry is shitting out an MSU basketball. 

Henry also loves to play in another neighbor's flower bed.  Here's a photo from this morning.  He was actually trying to hide from me because I always make him get out of the flower bed. 

But back to tonight.  He crawled into the flower bed again and I took this video.  A different neighbor's teeny tiny chihuahua was running around yapping at full speed.



The video cut out at the end because I ran out of memory on my phone.  Ooops.  So what you missed was Henry telling me his hands were dirty and he refused to get up until I dried his hands and wiped away all the dirt.  I can't stop laughing at this kid. 

We made it back inside for the end of the game and then I missed more because he needed a bath but we were all done in time to watch the bottom of the 8th and most of the top of the 9th.  We missed a couple minutes because Henry was really really tired and he fell and slightly barely bumped his head but oh.  my.  god.  you would have thought he had a concussion.  He pulled his shit together in time for the last out.  We celebrated for a minute and I started to tell him all about 2006 but then I realized it was weird because that is one of those real/fake memories from my life before Henry so I backed off telling him about it.  It's weird for me to think about.  My life from mid-2003 to August 15, 2010 feels like it was all a bunch of lies and bullshit and I am very disconnected from it all.  Anyway, point is, Henry and I got to party and dance around the house and Henry played with his broom in honor of this series and it was amazing.

Then he said, "night night" and went to bed.

LET'S GO TIGERS!!  

i'm still here.

Still in denial.  I've received bad news before.  I know I'll be okay.  Things are just a little crazier than usual right now. 

Henry is great.  Henry is better than great.  He is hilarious and talking more every day.  Tonight, in the middle of his bath he gave me a big hug and kiss.  I'm not sure why and I'm pretty sure I don't care.  It was wonderful and just what I needed.

We raked leaves today although Henry mostly raked where there were no leaves and then ran to the piles and jumped in even though they were soaking wet.  Yay!

i. give. up.

I got some really bad news this afternoon.  My new coping mechanism is to curl up into fetal position as much as possible, pull the blanket over my head and go to sleep.  I know there is baseball to watch.  I hear there is some kind of debate going on right now.  But guess what?  I don't give a fuck because this news I got today, it's bad.  I'm just going to sleep until Henry's singing and counting down and beeping and jumping wakes me up tomorrow morning.  Insomnia, you've got nothing on me and my new coping plan.  

I just need everything to stop, please. 

And I also need the Tigers to win so I can watch them later because I can't watch now. 

amen.

We pray before meals.  Usually.  Sometimes.  Henry knows how to fold his hands and he bows his head a little and most of the time I'm watching him and trying not to laugh.  Tonight, however, I completely lost my shit during an impromptu prayer.  In the middle of dinner, Henry folded his hands, bowed his head and said, "COOKIE" as he glanced up at me to see my reaction.  So.  Funny.

This was taken during a trip to the cider mill.  There was a little playhouse that Henry loved running in and out of.  I peeked in to see what he was up to and came across this scene.  Again, completely lost my shit laughing so hard. 

things i learned today.

• Today I decided to try to tell Henry all the words I know that refer to testicles.  There are a lot of words that refer to testicles.  I know a lot of them and I'm sure there are many more.  I never knew how many words I know that refer to testicles.  
• It has been cold and I have been cold all day.  Long sleeve shirt, two sweatshirts and a down jacket.  Still cold.  Having the perfect cuddle person at the end of the day to warm up with makes it all okay.
• Someday Henry is probably going to get kicked out of preschool for teaching his friends all the different words for testicles.  I won't know whether to be mortified or proud.  Who am I kidding.  We all know what I'll be.
• I didn't learn very much today.