done.

Today was a long.  ass. day.  I couldn't wait for it to be over.  To crawl into bed, not even minding the sheets should probably be changed since my sand-covered son and I attempted to take a nap there earlier today. 

The day started out with a rather difficult task.  Convincing my son to sit in front of my computer to talk to his daddy.  He wanted nothing to do with it.  Ran and hid.  Ran and laughed.  Ran and read books.  I finally got him to sit down with his peanut butter waffles and ice water.  Just in time.  Then the visit didn't happen as planned.  Tried to do Facetime on my phone instead but I think he just wasn't into it.  I try to leave him alone so I don't know what happened but as I was sitting in the other room reading a New Yorker from March (almost caught up?!), he suddenly came running in and tackled me and laughed and laughed and said he wanted to eat breakfast with George.  As in Curious.  No, I don't think that will happen.  It didn't. 

After that crazy start to the day, things remained I don't know, unbalanced.  Wonky.  Exhausting.  He and I were just waiting for something to happen but I'm not sure what.

Tonight when I attempted to put him to bed, he was pissed and screamed and yelled and cried like he has never really done.  I got him up and we read books.  Lots of books.  We have a really good friend that keeps him in really good, award-winning books.  And awesome Merge Records t-shirts.

I set the timer.  He does not argue with the timer. 

I was grateful for the beep-beep of the timer.  He went to bed no problem after that. 

My back hurts so bad tonight. 

Tomorrow will be better.  

once upon a henry.

A week or so ago Henry woke up in the morning with a dry diaper.  I've been told that going all night without peeing is a sign that the kid is ready to be potty trained.  He stayed dry for at least two more nights, and maybe even 3 or 4.  I can't remember anything.  After the first night I immediately ran out to the store and bought a fancy potty and I had also heard about a bunch of wonderful potty training videos and books.  Well, one book and video in particular.  I went to the locally owned Schuler's Bookstore and was very, very, very disappointed with their potty training section.  Out of all the potty training books, I found one that did not have both mommy and daddy sitting around the kid cheering them on as he sat on the potty doing nothing.  All I could think was that the only way both Henry's mommy and daddy would both be standing around him as he took a shit in the potty was if something really bad had happened.  Really bad.  I was relieved when I found Once Upon a Potty and that it featured Joshua and his mom-mom and nobody else.  Well, grandma gets a shout out but that's okay.  I ordered the DVD because Henry's pediatrician recommended it.  Henry looooooves the Once Upon a Potty book and every night we have to read about Joshua.  The DVD isn't so great because daddy is in the story.  Kind of weird since he isn't mentioned in the book.  Also, there's a creepy song that neither Henry nor I enjoyed.  We watched it once and I don't even know where it is anymore. 

I had complained to my dear friend, Joanna, about the lack of books that fit Henry's situation.  Apparently she heard me loud and clear because oh my God, she wrote a potty training book for Henry and about Henry and it is perfect for Henry.  She printed a bunch of photos of him and it.  is.  perfect.  So perfect that I wrote it twice.  And now three times.  Henry looooooves it and he laughs and laughs and laughs.  The book didn't come with a title but this morning Henry handed it to me and said, "Mom-mom want read Once Upon a Henry." and my heart almost burst with love and happiness and cheesiness. 

Now at bedtime we read about both Joshua and about Henry. 

p.s. Henry still won't sit on his potty. We are making progress, though.  At first he wouldn't even sit on the potty.  Then he sat on it but only with the lid closed.  And finally, he sat on it once with the lid open.  Fully clothed, of course.  The last time I ordered diapers, I only ordered one case, hoping he wouldn't need more.  I think I'll order another one before the coupon expires. 

birthday.

I love this boy.



There was a miscommunication and I ended up with two birthday cakes.  Tonight Henry and I busted out the second one and he said we had to have candles and sing.  I asked him to get the candles out and he came up with a five and a zero.  I asked him if he wanted to be 5 or 50 and he said, "two."
 

mother.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how close Henry's family is, in geographic terms and in relationship terms.  I'm so grateful to be raising him close to his grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles and fauxcousins and fauxaunts and fauxuncles.  Henry has 12 cousins, on my side of his family alone.  That does not include his 7 fauxcousins in Grand Rapids.  Ten of his cousins, and 17 of them if you include the Grand Rapids group, live at the farthest, an hour drive away.  This means that during the school year, we get to attend track meets, water polo matches, swim meets, cross country meets, field hockey games (I don't know what they are called.  Games?  Matches?), not to mention concerts and other performances when he gets older.  His cousins get so excited to see Henry when he comes to cheer them on and Henry just loves to yell and clap and critique.  His aunts and uncles have forgotten my name and most of them just consider me to be the chick that drives their nephew to visit them.  

Here's the thing.  One of the best thing about being a mom, and being Henry's mom, is the support and love that I've received from friends and family and friends that I now consider to be family. 

When Henry was born, several of my friends had young children.  Even though most of them were first time parents themselves, they were right by my side rooting for me and propping me up when I needed it.  Some of them live a million miles away but would email, call, and visit when they could.  They all realized that I was in for the crazy ride of my life.  They had recently done it as two-parent families and couldn't imagine what my life would be like as a single parent.  Henry is two-and-a-half-years-old and I am still getting calls and letters and emails and facebook messages of support and love from these people. 

It's amazing and wonderful and beautiful and I am so grateful because I get to teach this to Henry.  My son is living in this environment and my hope is that one day if he chooses to breed, he will teach it to his child.  If I do my job well, he won't know any other way to show his child. 

I truly believe all, okay so maybe most, mothers do the best they can with what they have.  We judge one another harshly and we knock each other down at times, but I am lucky that the mothers I know, the ones that I keep close and that hold Henry and I in their hearts, we understand that shit happens and we all love our children and want the best for the kiddos.  We know we will all fuck up at times and we will most likely all be shit on once or twice, literally and figuratively, and we will be there for each other. 

Motherhood.  It's really fucking beautiful.

Me:  Henry, are you going to make me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day tomorrow?
Henry:  No mom-mom.  That's dirty.
Me:  Aye Aye, Captain.
Henry:  Captain's Curse?
Me:  No, Captain of Team Clean.
Henry:  Go Clean!
Me:  Go Blue?!
Henry:  Light turned green!  We gooooooooooo!!!
Me:  Hail to the victors!
Henry:  Light turned yellow!  We slow doooowwwwwwn!  Mom-mom go fast.
Me:  shhhhhhh.... 

furniture shopping ptsd.

Henry and I went to Art Van tonight to pick out some furniture and do some research on big boy beds.  I realized that the last time I was at Art Van, I was 8 months pregnant and picking out a new bed for myself.  It was one of the most exhausting experiences I had as a pregnant woman and everything about it was awful.  Physically.  Emotionally.  Mostly physically.  I just remember being out of breath after trying out 3 mattresses.  It sucked. 

Tonight was just as exhausting but for a much better reason.  Henry loves him some furniture store.  He ran and jumped and climbed and hid and laughed and laughed and laughed.  For some reason the salesman wanted to sell me a TempurPedic bed for my two-year-old which just seems like a terrible idea.  If he can't jump on his bed, he will jump on my bed and nobody wants that but mainly I don't want that.  Not that I want him to jump on his bed but let's face it, he is a kid and he will jump on a bed.  As a matter of fact, he tried to jump on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed tonight but I stopped him just in time.  If I thought he wouldn't have hurt himself badly, I would have let him learn the hard way.  He might be chubby but big man can jump.  The only way I could keep him from getting in trouble was to make him my backpack and by the time we walked out of the store I was exhausted and could hardly feel my arms.  Instead of being in tears and feeling like a big reject, I couldn't stop laughing and smiling. 

that's my boy.

Me:  Henry.  Sunday is Mother's Day and we need to get a present for Gma because she is mom-mom's mom-mom.  What should we get her?
Henry:  Birthday cake.

a little while later...

Me:  Henry.  Next week is somebody's birthday.  Whose birthday is it?
Henry:  Henry's birthday.  Need buy birthday cake for Henry.

a little while later...

Me:  Henry.  Do we really need an excuse to buy cake?
Henry:  Let's play with this monster truck but not that Captain's Curse.  He's hiding. 
Me:  And then we can eat cake?
Henry:  Yes.  Birthday cake for Henry.

today.

Henry is growing up fast.  Too fast.  Today, for the first time ever, he was not clingy the day after he came home from his dad's weekend.  Maybe it was because he was so busy.  Maybe it was because he doesn't need his mom-mom as much anymore.  Maybe it was because he is just the happiest kid on the planet.  Here are photos from today.  Notice the many wardrobe changes.  There were a couple that I didn't even take photos of.  Yikes.

Time to wash Gma's car!

Tired?  Me?  Where did I leave my pants??

Not enough energy to run through the sprinkler.  Standing will do.  Brrrrr.....

it's all fun and games until...

Henry has been way into the I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee song lately.  We'll be sitting in the sandbox and all of a sudden he insists on singing it.  Right.  Now.  The other day he was supposed to be taking a nap but instead he was singing and I grabbed my camera to get a recording of the cuteness. 



If you watch the video, you'll notice he never got to the Ouch!  It stung me!!  part. 

This morning, a bunch of sweat bees were hanging out by the sandbox and a couple huge bumblebees.  They mostly stayed to themselves but I saw a little sweat bee land on Henry's hand and he swatted it away and then he started crying.  His first bee sting.  It was high drama but I could see the bite on his finger and so we iced it and cuddled and I asked him if he wanted to sing the baby bumblebee song and he said, "NooooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOoooooo." 

Guess that's the end of that one.