sigh.

Henry:  MOM-MOM!!!!! 
Mom-mom:  Yes, Henry?
H:  Why are you doing the dishes?
M:  I'm not doing the dishes. 
H:  MOM-MOM!!!
M:  Yes, Henry?
H:  Mom-mom.  Did you already do the dishes?
M:  Yep.
H:  MOM-MOM!!!!!!!!
M: Yes, Henry?
H:  Why are you washing your hands?
M:  Why do you think I'm washing my hands?
H:  Because you touched my butt crack!!!!!!!  *Maniacal laughter*
M:  You are correct.  You had a poopy, poopy butt crack.
H:  MOM-MOM!!!!!
M:  Yes, Henry?
H:  I love you!
M:  I love you, too.
H:  I'm so happy I came home to you, mom-mom.

sniffing butterflies.

The most amazing thing happened today and someday I'll tell you about it but for now, you just need to know that I live and have lived a truly blessed existence.  So many wonderful things come my way, sometimes I just can't believe how lucky I am. 

Also, Henry kept trying to sniff butterflies today. 

the light.

Not all was bad today.  He makes me laugh.  He makes me smile.  He makes me love.  He makes me proud.  He makes me patient.  He makes me kind.  He makes me come up with new things to do.  He makes me sit and enjoy the warmth of our lives. 

And that was just today.

aaaaargggggggghhhhhhhhh...

Pretty much every conversation today has gone something like this.

Mom-mom:  It's time to go outside.
Henry:  No.  I'm not going outside.
Mom-mom:  It's a beautiful day so let's go out and play!
Henry:  NoooooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOO!
Mom-mom:  Okay I get it, you don't want to go out right now.  How about we play inside for 15 minutes and then we'll go outside.
Henry:  No.  I wanna go outside.  I'm not playing inside for 15 minutes.
Mom-mom:  ........

Every.  Single.  Conversation. 

By 6 p.m. I needed a time-out.  You know it's been a long day when the mom is locking herself in her room for a time-out and the kid is in the hallway yelling, "I'm sorry mom-mom!  I'll make dinner now!  You take a nap!!"  As I heard his big ol' feet running toward the kitchen, I snapped out of it and joined him to help him make dinner. 

Done.

goodbye, old friend.

Almost ten years ago my then-boyfriend bought a kitty water fountain bowl for the little bastards, aka Barbaro Garbey and Willie Horton.  I thought it was a ridiculous purchase but went along with it because it was on sale and the idea is kind of cool.  Little did I know that it was the best thing ever.  That little submersible pump went on and on and on.  Longer than my relationship with the then-boyfriend, as a matter of fact!  For the past couple months, every time I would clean it, the pump would take a long time to come back on.  The last time I cleaned it was before we went on vacation and it didn't want to come back on.  By the time I returned from vacation it was working a little bit and this morning I noticed that it had stopped.  Willie Horton is looking at the fresh bowl of water I put on the floor with confusion and what's that?  She just stuck her nose in the air and walked away. 

Perhaps I was wrong.  The purchase wasn't ridiculous.  My cat is ridiculous. 

i can do this.

Today is day 2 of a five day stretch of Hank and I on our own.  I mentioned before that we've had house guests for a little while, as in just over 5 weeks, I think.  The house feels empty, to say the least.  Yesterday, Henry twice suggested we go to his cousins' house to play.  Instead we went to a new ice cream shop downtown and played by the Lansing Lugnuts stadium.  This was all after a big storm went through so Henry wasn't sure he wanted to play outside because he was "a little bit scary."  I often remind him that one of my jobs is to keep him safe and that seems to stop the scaries a little bit.  Since the Common Ground Festival is going on, there was a plane flying around pulling a big ol' banner and Henry loooooooved watching it.  "Look at that, Mom-mom!  Look!  Look!  Looooook!!!" It doesn't matter how many times I enthusiastically respond, "I SEE IT, HENRY!  I SEE IT!!  I SEEEEEEEE IIIIIIITTTTTTT!" He demands I look some more.  I love it. 

Spending all day with a two-and-a-half-year-old is exhausting.  By the end of the day I'm lucky if I can get the floor cleaned up and a little scrubbing in before I fall in bed with a book. 

It's good to have these kinds of problems. 

bad mom. good mom.

Bad mom.
On the way to the store to buy a birthday gift for a one-year-old's birthday party I heard this little monologue coming from the back seat...
"Oh!  There's a 'skeeto.  *clapping sound* I missed it!  Son of a bitch!  There it is again!!  *clapping sound* Dammit, it got away..."
(This is pretty much exactly the conversation I have with myself while I am hunting mosquitoes in the house).
(I suck at hunting mosquitoes and sometimes wonder if I actually have two eyes, my depth perception is so far off).

Good mom.
I don't like to do the whole bribe-the-kid-to-behave-at-the-store thing because I would like Henry to behave while shopping whether or not he gets a toy or a treat at the end.  He doesn't always get a toy/treat because in our world, that's just life.  On this particular birthday gift shopping trip, however, I was doing the best I can.  I have been planning to get Henry a Curious George stuffed toy for a while because he really enjoys that little monkey so when we were picking out a toy for the birthday party I mentioned to Henry that if we have a good trip, he can probably take George home with him but if it's a bad trip, George would have to wait at the store and come home another time.  We often have the conversation about what makes a good trip and what makes a bad trip, that way he knows my expectations and it's easier to explain when he decides that running away and hiding in the clothes racks where I can't find him is inappropriate and constitutes a bad trip.  He did a pretty good job until he decided to lay on a display couch with his shoes on, which he knows is a big no-no, and then when I asked him to get down or at the very least, take off his shoes, he decided to throw the pillows on the floor.  Bad trip, my friend.  When he saw that I wasn't so happy with him he yelled, "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!" and started to run away.  I grabbed his hand and calmly told him that I wanted to keep him close so he would be safe so he could now hold my hand and we could have a chance at this being a good trip to the store.  All I had to do now was pay for the gift and we'd be out of there.  As we were walking to the cash registers, we talked more about a good trip and bad trip and he said it was a bad trip so George would have to stay at the store.  I told him that it was okay because we'd be back another time and we'd both work on having a good trip and then George could come home with us.  He said he was sorry and I accepted his apology and thanked him and told him I loved him and knew that he tried and we'd both just try harder next time.  At this point an older lady, probably in her late 60's, approached me and whispered, "You are such a good mom, I've been listening to your conversation.  How old is he, two-and-a-half?  I have a grandson the same age and he would be pitching a screaming fit right now if he couldn't get a toy.  Your son is listening and is fine with not getting the toy.  Can I send my grandson to your house for a while?"  I just laughed and thanked her and assured her that my son is also capable of screaming fits, but on the inside I felt so proud of Henry and later in the car, I realized that I could be proud of myself, too.  Sometimes, I am a good mom.  Thanks, lady!

Remember when I was all Yaaaaayyyyyy!  My kid is still sleeping and it is 9:52 a.m.?! 

Someone should have smacked me upside the head and said, "Hey dummy!  The last time he did that he was sick!"  because when he finally woke up a little after 10, he was hot.  On fire hot.  Okay, maybe not that hot, but definitely had a fever.  He then spent much of the day laying on me, or on his gma, or in my bed, not wanting to talk, eat, talk or talk which is way different than how he spends most of his days.  Talking.  Eating.  Talking.  Talking. 

This morning he woke up with an elevated temperature, not quite fever range but still higher than normal.  He doesn't have any other sick symptoms which I am grateful for but which also makes me nervous. 

We are supposed to go on another little trip tomorrow but at this point, I think we'll stay home for at least one more day to rest.  He's been getting a lot of that even though he did sneak outside for a few minutes tonight.  It wore him out and I knew he was done when he collapsed into my arms, a sobbing mess because I moved his car out of the middle of the driveway.  I did my best to console him all the while screaming, "I TOLD YOU GOING OUTSIDE WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA BECAUSE YOU NEED TO REST!" in my head.  I concealed my inside-the-head screaming very well because he clung to me and said, "Mom-mom would you please carry me inside?" and I know had he heard my inside-the-head screaming, he would have run away from me.  Very far. 

Let's hope for an early morning tomorrow!  Yay!!??

home again.

It has been a crazy few weeks with house guests, vacation, Henry going to visit his dad, and now more house guests.  It's been so crazy that it is 9:52 a.m. and Henry is still asleep (of course I peeked in to make sure he was sleeping and not dead, I'm just that kind of mom.  The kind that is ruining her child by being overprotective and overbearing, according to some stupid article stupid people keep posting on the book of faces website).

Henry was sick when he was with his dad this past weekend and it was a complete and total nightmare of a day for me.  The only thing worse than having a sick kid on your hands is knowing your kid is sick in someone else's hands.  Also, given that the someone else is the other parent, you need to let go and let them make decisions about his health even though those decisions are waaaaaay different than your decisions would have been.  This parenting thing is haaaaaard.  This co-parenting thing is even haaaaaaaaaaaaarder.

Last night when Henry and I did cuddle minute before he went to bed, he cupped my face in his hands and got real close and said, "Mom-mom, I missed you!  I was sad but now I'm not sad anymore." and I almost died.  I do understand that his two statements could be completely unrelated.  It is highly possible and even probable that his being sad had nothing to do with missing me but in order to survive this little life setup we have here, the one where he takes off every other weekend whether he wants to or not, I believe it's all okay because he isn't sad anymore when he's home with me.