sigh.

Tonight, on the way to swim class, Henry said, "Mom-mom, I'd like to go to a ball game with you." 

It felt like the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

yard work.

As previously mentioned, my dad recently had open heart surgery.  Because he isn't able to lift or push or pull or do anything that resembles work, I have been mowing the lawn.  Check that.  Henry and I have been mowing the lawn.  I push the John Deere mower while he runs all around me with his lawn mower.  It's a great system...some of the time.  The first couple times he kept himself busy all around me the entire time I mowed.  Today was a completely different story. 

First let me describe mowing when he isn't with me. 
Zip.  Empty bag.  Zip.  Empty bag.  Zip.  Empty bag. 
I can usually finish the entire front and back yards in just over an hour.

This is mowing when Henry is here.  You should know that every time Henry needs something I have to turn off the mower so I can hear him.
Zip.  Empty bag.  Zi...

Henry: I want to play in the sandbox. 
Me:  Okay go ahead.  Do you want me to take off your shoes?
Henry:  No I want my shoes.
Me:  Okay.  If you change your mind, you know how to take your shoes off, you can just take them off.
Henry:  Okay.

Zip. 

Henry:  Mom-mom!   I don't want to wear my shoes.
Me:  You can take them off.
Henry:  I want you to take them off.
Me:  *taking off his shoes* Do you need anything else while I'm stopped?
Henry:  No I'll be in the sandbox. 
Me:  Great, you know where I'll be if you need anything.

Zip.

Henry:  MOM-MOM!!!!!
Me:  Oh my God what's wrong?!
Henry:  I need medicine for my bug bite on my knee.
Me:  Can it wait?  This bag is almost full and then we can empty it and I can take a break.
Henry:  No I need it noooooowwwwww
Me:  Okay my first job is taking care of you, second is the lawn.  *find the bug bite cream and bring it to him*  Okay buddy, which knee is it?
Henry:  This one...
Me:  Nooooo, I don't see a bite on that one, I think it's the other knee.
Henry:  Oh.  Okay the other one.
Me:  Does it really itch so badly that you need medicine?
Henry:  No.
Me:  Well, I'll put some on now and that way you'll be all set.  Do you need anything else? 
Henry:  No, I'll be in the sandbox.

Zi...

Henry:  MOM-MOM MOM-MOM MOM-MOM!!
Me:  Oh Jesus H. Christ for the love of all that is holy, how can I help you?
Henry:  Frank the Combine is coming to get you.
Me:  grrrrrr....
Henry:  I love you, mom-mom.

etc.

It took me almost 3 hours to finish mowing today.  I can't feel my right arm because the starter on the mower hasn't worked since I don't know when so every time I had to start it I had to use the pull-starter thingy.  Sometimes it's nice to be needed.  Other times it's nice to mow the fucking lawn. 

i have decided.

All bad news, from now on, must be communicated to me by way of cake.  Feel free to be creative in your choice of wording, or go the extra mile and don't use words, just use the cake itself to tell the sad/bad/awful tale. 

No, I'm not high.  If I was high and you called the cops to tell on me and then wanted to give me a heads up before the cops bust down my door, what would that cake be like?

the plague.

A couple weeks ago Henry got sick.  It seems that when he gets sick, it's often after he's been visiting his dad.  I'm convinced it's because of all the dirty, dirty airplane germs that surround him for the weekend.  I'm most likely wrong because Henry's a kid and he's dirty and I need not complain about the sick because he isn't in school so it's not like he's sick all the time.  This last time was just really bad and to make things worse, everyone in the house picked up his sick, including my dad who had just had open heart surgery.  So the poor man is trying to recover from major surgery and then caught a nasty bug.  When I'm feeling particularly shitty and am hurting from coughing and am falling asleep while reading to Henry, I try to make myself feel better by reminding myself that hey!  At least I didn't recently have my chest cracked open! 

I think we're almost better.  At least Henry is almost better and that's what is important.  Until we know for sure, I'd call before stopping by for a visit.