"and i miss you, like the desert masquerade..."

When I was in college there was a song with the lyric, "and I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain..." but my friend, he misunderstood due to all of the desert masquerades that are out there.  

This morning I miss my son a lot.  I was in the living room when he got up and what had started out as a dark and cold morning instantly turned bright and sunny at the sound of his feet running down the hallway.  The sun hadn't come close to rising yet.  He tackled me with hugs and peppered me with kisses and oh the sweet, sweet, "Good morning, mom!  I love you!", it was all a bit much and brought tears to my eyes. 

Henry and I often talk about missing someone - his dad, his friends.  Last night when he got home from visiting his dad he was very sad.  He sat in my lap and cried and I hugged him and rocked him and tried to make him feel safe and loved.  He said he missed his dad because his dad had to go to Washington, D.C. again.  My heart broke all over again but not for me this time, for my son.  It is up to me to make all of this okay.  Last night I felt like a failure.

I wanted to stay home today, to spend time with Henry.  To play and laugh and make him feel loved.  Had he been sad this morning, I would have called in sick to work and we would have stayed in our pj's all day and baked cookies and cake and made forts and whatever else he wanted to do.  He woke up happy and ready to go to school to see his friends, he said he missed them.  I asked him if he missed me when he was gone for the weekend, and he said, "No, mom.  You are always right here."  This morning, I don't feel like as much of a failure.