vacation drama.

Yes, I know I bitch all the time.  I can't stop.  I need therapy.

I take back all the bitching I did about having to get ready for two vacations because only one vacation actually took place.  Henry went with his dad on Thursday evening.  I spent Thursday evening at the store and scooping cat poop and feeding fish and packing my own suitcase.  I was then up all night on Thursday with a really sore throat.  Not just an, "Oh, I think I feel a tickle in my throat, I hope I'm not catching a bug."  It was full-on, "HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS CALL 9-1-1 MY THROAT IS ON FIRE AND SEND THE AMBULANCE TOO BECAUSE I JUST TRIED TO SWALLOW MY OWN SPIT AND IT FEELS LIKE MY THROAT IS BEING RIPPED OUT OF MY NECK AND STOMPED ON BY A DINOSAUR THAT SOMEHOW SURVIVED THE GIANT ASTEROID THAT KILLED ALL OF ITS FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND IT IS VERY ANGRY AND TAKING IT OUT ON MY THROAT."  I'm not sure what an ambulance would do to save my throat from the angry dinosaur but they might have good drugs so it didn't hurt so bad? 

I got up Friday morning and called my boss, warning her that I was pretty sure I had strep but silly, sleep-deprived me offered to go to work for a little while to take care of our clients and then head to urgent care.  She asked if I had a fever and I said no, I didn't think so.  She had something she couldn't miss so she was very grateful that I could make it in and she said as soon as I could get out of the office, just go.  By the time I got to work, I was feeling a little shaky.  After a few minutes I was all out shivering.  Well, hello, fever!  I tried my best to hide my illness from my clients because if I didn't want them to know that I was exposing them to the plague.  I think I went through an entire bottle of hand sanitizer that I'm pretty sure isn't at all effective but made me feel less bad about possibly infecting them all. 

As soon as everyone was gone I took off and went straight to urgent care.  Twenty minutes before it opened.  There was another car in the parking lot and the people were sitting in their car so I stayed in my car.  Tried to hold my head up to read a magazine.  Pretty much sat there and shivered.  Another car drove in and the people in the first car got out and went and stood outside the door.  There was still 10 minutes to go!  What were they thinking?  Sure enough, the woman that drove in after me got out of her car and went and stood in line.  Mother.  Fucker.  I still didn't want to get out of the car because at that point, sitting hurt, I wasn't sure standing was a good idea.  Then two more cars pulled in the parking lot.  With 5 minutes to go I forced myself out of the car and stood in line.  The woman that was there first felt she needed to talk to everyone and make jokes about how none of us really looked that sick.  And she yelled at her children who were playing in the rocks for banging rocks together.  I wanted them to throw the rocks at her but they decided to play with their ipads instead.  After what felt like 3 hours, the doors unlocked.  The first lady went in.  The second lady started to go in but then she stopped, turned to me and said, "Oh, you got here before me so you go ahead." and I almost cried, I was so touched by her kindness.  By this point I was so close to help that I knew I could make it.  I was going to live.  And then it hit me.  The arctic air.  It was so cold in there that the only thing I could think was they were trying to heal everyone by freezing their ailments right out of existence.  I'm sure my paperwork looks lovely because I couldn't stop my hand from shaking. 

So. 

Long story.

Sorry.

The PA took one look at me and said, "I'm treating you for strep, I don't care what the test reads. You look like crap."  Thanks?  The test was positive, too.

I had them send my drugs to the pharmacy close to my house that I knew had a drive-thru window.  On the way there the pharmacy called to tell me they didn't have my health insurance information.  Fuuuuuck.  My work changed health insurance companies at the beginning of July and apparently I hadn't been to that pharmacy yet.  I had to go into the pharmacy and thank god they have chairs because I sat in one, propped up by the big Dasani refrigerator thing.  It took them forever to call my name.  Once I had my drugs I was so happy to be heading home to climb into bed with a warm, warm blanket. 

And then it hit me.  I was supposed to get on a plane.  My flight was at 1:20 p.m. 

Yeah.  Not happening.

I went home and cancelled my flight.  I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do but I was pretty sure I couldn't sit up anymore, let alone drive myself to the airport, get through security, sit through a flight, and then go to my friend's house to infect she and her family.  I finally got to go to bed at around 11:30 a.m.  I think I woke up around 6 p.m.  Decided I didn't want to eat anything.  Still had a fever.  Took my 2nd dose of antibiotics.  Went back to bed.  Woke up at 9.  I was pissed that I slept all day because I wouldn't get any sleep over night.  Then I fell right back asleep and didn't get up until 9 the next morning.  I think it was a good idea to cancel the flight.

The rest of my weekend?  I felt like shit all weekend and even stayed home from work yesterday.  I'm feeling better today which is good because my boy comes home this evening.  I can't wait to hear all about his wonderful vacation.  I'll be so happy to see him that I won't care that I have no vacation stories of my own.